A Story in the Stitches

Photograph by Alayna G. Clark Photography 

A couple people asked me recently why I suddenly became so much more dedicated to my blog, more diligent in my creative projects. I've spent some time thinking about this and decided to write some of it down.

You see... a little boy named Grayson made me a mama on Jan 27 of this year. And it has changed my world and opened my heart. I love that little boy in ways I never imagined until it happened to me.

As a mom, you spend all day, everyday,  pouring your heart into raising these little souls. Making sure their needs are met-- physical, spiritual, emotional. You sacrifice your body, your time, your independence, sometimes your career, your
everything... to give them the best you have and everything they need.

At the end of the day, it's easy to feel like you have nothing to show for a day full of nursing, rocking, holding, burping, making lunches, kissing owies, playing pretend, and helping these little ones grow...everything you've done, everything you've poured your heart into is wrapped up in the intangible progress of raising babies.

Motherhood isn't displayed in public accolades, in fancy plaques, or decorated titles. Motherhood isn't found in fancy cars or pretty shoes or perfect makeup. Motherhood is wrapped up in open-mouth kisses, in snuggles, in holding hands. Motherhood is wrapped up in hours of rocking and holding and singing. It's found in the quiet prayers, in hopes and dreams and wishes for our little ones. It's skipping showers, meals, and outings to instead calm and soothe little cries. It's endless worry and joy and doubt and love. It's all of these things... these untouchable, intangible things. It's all part of the beauty and the sacrifice of being a mom.
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So now, let me explain. You see, creating does this clever thing. It takes emotions and passions, lessons and experiences... and it packages them up into something tangible. A pretty dress, a painted canvas, a thoughtful poem, a colorful bouquet. Wrapped up in that finished product is a story that's all yours.

I've seen it in myself over these past 2 months. Going through the creative process -- digging deep to find inspiration, testing and stretching my abilities, working with my hands + my head + my heart, and bringing my creative vision to fruition -- it has been liberating.

I look at my finished products -- a dress, a skirt, a bowtie for my baby, and laced in all the stitches are hours of learning and growth and exploring myself. In that twisted hem, there's a lesson in patience and attention to detail. In that imperfect neckline, there are hours of trial and error, of perseverance, and pride. In that silly little dress, there are days of ups and downs, of attempts and failures.  In that silly little dress, there's a girl discovering herself, one stitch at a time.

Yes, there's a story in those stitches. And that story is mine.

So to all of  you mom's out there -- whether to 1 child or 20. Whether working moms or stay-at-home moms. Bottle-fed, breast-fed, co-sleepers, crib-sleepers. Rockers or bouncers. Whoever you are! Those kids deserve the best version of yourself. They deserve and they need a happy, healthy, fulfilled you. 

So capture the heartaches and victories, the good days and bad... and package them up in a creation of your own. Through stitches or music notes, brush strokes or lines of prose. Write your story. Find your happiest "you."