WHEN THINGS DON'T GO TO PLAN: Tales of a Dress Mess

There's a drawer in my closet filled to the brim with failed projects.

Yep, you read that right. Failed projects. Tops, skirts, dresses with accidental holes, scorch marks, ruined necklines, knotted stitches, and uneven hems. A drawer full of abandoned, unfinished, frustrated endeavors that didn't go according to plan.

Why am I sharing this?

I've been thinking a lot these past few weeks about selective reality. About the false picture that things like Instagram, Snapchat, and Pinterest create for a person's life. 

We fill our social media accounts with perfectly filtered photos and perfectly happy posts. I'm guilty of it, too. It's easy to fall prey to the delusion of "perfect". If you're anything like me, you've admired someone's pictures, someone's posts and found
yourself with feelings of longing and jealousy for their picture-perfect life. And feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction with your own, very imperfect one.

But the reality is.... none of us have it perfect. There are 30 "bad" photos on my camera roll for every Instagram-ready shot. And the process to get to those pretty projects, happy posts, and posed pictures is often messy.

So, I think we need to revisit our hidden drawer full of failed projects. The messes we keep tidily tucked away in a corner, in a closet, in a drawer-- never to be shared, never to be seen. 

Today I'm opening that drawer, daring to share a peak inside with you. Inside that drawer is a scorched, uneven, ill-fitting pink dress. A dress that went horribly wrong. A complete and utter dress mess.

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Just a few years ago, I was home visiting my family in California. I had followed several sewing bloggers for years and had decided I was ready to tackle my own dress... they just made it look SO easy! What could go wrong? 

I went with my mom to the local swap meet (#California) and picked out some pretty pink fabric, and a zipper, too. I returned home giddy and gleeful... anticipating an afternoon of sewing followed by the most picture-perfect finished dress for me to wear. 

My mom, bless her heart, was sweet and kind and patient as she dealt with me, a verrrrry inexperienced, uneducated, wannabee seamstress. I had no idea what I was doing. But I knew what I wanted the finished product to be.

I had this mistaken notion that I could glide flawlessly from a pile of fabric to a Pinterest-ready dress without any hiccuups. And boy was I wrong. 

The afternoon consisted of hurried tracing, cutting, and stitching. Followed by retracing, recutting, and unpicking. Over and over. I remember becoming frustrated with the process. It was not going according to plan. This process wasn't quick, easy, or perfect. It was slow, meticulous, and labored. 

I didn't want to take my time. I didn't want to be meticulous. I did NOT understand that the process was very key in the finished product. I just wanted the end result. 

After hours of rushing and forcing this poor dress to emerge from a pile of pink fabric, I was almost done. All that remained to do was the hem. I anxiously took my dress to the ironing board, and within seconds, my pink dress was covered in big, black scorch marks. The iron was too hot. I instantly burst into tears. My dress was ruined. 

It was quite the melodramatic moment for me. 

I tried the dress on again a little later, all by myself. And you know what? The scorch marks weren't the only mess. The sleeves were puckered, the fabric didn't sit right, and the neckline was painfully uneven. The scorch marks were just the cherry on top of this dress mess. 

In all the rush, I didn't see that I was contributing to a mess from the very beginning.

___ 

Kay. So what does my dress mess have to do with anyone else? 

First. 

In sewing, baking, crafting, and otherwise creating, the process is imperfect. 

I've learned (and continue to learn) that each project is a complete learning experience. 

Just as I've discovered my own tendency to rush through the process, urgently lusting for that finished project, YOU have to discover your own weaknesses in creating. The things that lead to bigger messes, and land you with another failed project to tuck away in a drawer. 

Slow down. Appreciate the process, the journey from point A to Point B. 

Learn everything you can from the messes you will inevitably make. My drawer full of failed projects is also a drawer full or lessons, of insights, of tips and tricks, of notes to myself-- that all ultimately make me a better seamstress, sewer, and artist.

Second.

I think we ourselves start out, a pile of "fabric"... a blank canvas with potential and purpose.

And as life goes on, we sometimes find ourselves to be the mess. We are like this ruined dress. 

We have all these plans, visions, and goals for ourselves. Of who we'll be and what we'll accomplish. We have this picture in our heads of what our life will look like. 

Sometimes we get caught up in dreams of that end goal... that we rush through the process. We hurry through life- busy, and distracted. We refuse to slow down or take our time. We force outcomes. We force our lives to fit this mold we have in our head. We hold on desperately to what we think is best.

And when we live this way... when we force life to go to plan, it almost never does. And along the way, we fail to see the mess we're creating.

We get burned, frayed, bruised, broken, and a little (or a lot) messy. 

But, we are not doomed to be tucked away as a "failure." 

We can have hope. Because when we arrive in the middle of a mess... the Creator in our story is a loving, perfect God. A Father who has infinite experience in repair. Who is ready and willing to fix our mess, to transform us from our broken state, and to help us recover from the biggest mess-ups and mishaps. To teach us powerful, beautiful lessons in the chaos. To develop new and wonderful qualities in us that couldn't be fostered any other way.

To teach us that life almost never goes according to plan. And when we can accept that, we will actually have the chance to enjoy the process, and appreciate the outcome.

Finally.

I am not immune to messes. Neither are you. They will happen -- in our dresses, in our relationships, in our careers, in our lives. 

So what can we do? 

Slow down. Take our time. Appreciate the fact that the process is just as important as and crucial to the outcome of the finished product. Be patient with our projects and ourselves -- true beauty requires work and effort and time.

Learn to adapt. Learn to accept the fact that things will almost never go according to plan.

Step away when needed. Tuck away that project, tuck away that heartache, that mess. And revisit it in a while. When you are ready to take it back out again and repair. 

Remember. Sometimes the bumps are little. Oftentimes the bruises heal. And we are no worse for wear. But here and there, we are left with permanent marks. With rips and scratches and messes that can't be taken back. Ones from which we have to accept defeat, take note of the lessons we've learned, ask for help, and start again. 

We're all a little messy- in our projects & our lives. But the messes shape us, transform us, and prepare us for greater things to come.

I hope you find yourself with a drawer full of failures, mishaps, and messes. And I hope you open it  often.