to the artist, ready to give up.

To the artists---

Today I'm thinking about the artists. Of any and every medium. The painters, writers, musicians, actors and actresses, the dancers, and the photographers. The artists who are struggling. Who have doubts, insecurities, and are all too aware of their shortcomings and flaws. You know who you are.

I recently saw a post that described the creative process as something like this:

Step 1. This is awesome.
Step 2. This is hard.
Step 3. This is crap.
Step 4. I am crap.
Step 5. This might be ok.
Step 6. This is awesome.

I laughed at the uncanny accuracy of this. Are you all nodding your heads, because you've felt this, too? This roller coaster of belief, then doubt, then belief in ourselves and in our work.

I don't know what step you're on today. I don't know what your current outlook is on your creative expression and your art. But I've got a pretty good guess that at some point in the near future you may find yourself back again at Steps 3 & 4.

I was stuck at 4 last week. To the point of frustrated tears running down my tired cheeks. I was standing in front of another ruined project. One that just didn't live up to the vision in my head. And after the countless hours of tireless effort and meticulous work and a draining push to be continually creative ... I stood there and thought to myself "I just want to give up."

Not only was I harshly criticizing every stitch in my garment... I was also standing there criticizing every part of myself, of my own character, abilities, talents, and dreams. I began thinking to myself "your dream, your hope of becoming the artist you want to be, is stupid. It's pointless. It will never happen. It's not meant to be." I stood there, tearing myself down and testing the strength of my dreams.

Why do we do this? Why do we -- standing in front of our art that didn't turn out --- then make assumptions in leaps and bounds to the point of discrediting ourselves as individuals?
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My husband also runs an artistic business on the side. He loves it. The work he does is incredibly detailed and he is a true artisan. I've watched him learn and grow immensely over the past year. He has stretched himself over and over, and dared to dream bigger again and again. I'm amazed by his skill and artistry.

Yet, countless times, I've seen him discouraged about his work... and more so, his abilities.

I guess it's an undeniable part of the creative process. We judge our art so harshly that we doubt our worth as artists.
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So, what do we do at steps 3 + 4? They seem to be inevitable at times, and so we must learn how to move through them quickly, and arrive safely back at 5.

I've found a few things that help. 8 little ways to put up a fight against self-doubt.

1. Keep a portfolio of things that make you proud. Of pieces, of creations that demonstrate your skill, your determination, your creativity, your artistry, your potential. Revisit this often and remind yourself of the beauty only you are capable of creating.

2. Create for a different purpose. When I've gotten stuck, I revert back to creating for a different reason. I create for others. I make something to donate, something to make someone smile, something to share with others. Create, purely to give away.

3. Wrap your head around the idea that you are designed to create. It is in your DNA. It is one of the things that distinguishes us as human beings from all other species. We have this innate desire and immense capability to take materials and create something new and beautiful, that did not exist before.

4. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself room and time to grow.

5. If, by chance, you are using your art as a means to earn a living... remember why you started creating in the first place. Do not let your art lose its passion because it has been tied to money. Remember why you created, before that was part of the picture. This is your heart. This is what we need to get back to.

6. Find a supporter. I'm a firm believer that each one of us needs a cheerleader, a coach... someone to remind us of our talents. remind us of where we've been and how far we've come. to remind us to believe in ourselves, when we forget how to. For me, this is my husband. And I hope I am the same for him. Find someone you can call and complain to. Rant, ramble, complain about your work and your frustration, your worry and your doubt. Find someone who will listen, who will validate, and then who can kindly but firmly slap you across the face (figuratively, of course) and remind you who you are and can become.

7. Remember that though your art is part of you, it is not you. It does not define you. A subpar dress, a creative rut, a failed creation. These things do not in any way diminish your worth... as a mother/father, as a wife/husband, as a friend, as a person, or even as an artist. It is a product of you, but it is not you.


And lastly.

8. Stop comparing.

Comparing is the thief of joy, creativity, self-worth, fulfillment, progress, gratitude, confidence, growth.

I often find myself comparing my projects, my skills, my designs, my looks, my photos, my words, my characteristics, my situation, etc, etc, etc to others. And boy, let me tell you. It really is a thief of all those things up there, and more. I'm learning that when I sit and obsess over what other bloggers and seamstresses and DIY extraordinaires are making, and how perfect their technique is, and how fancy their fabric is, and how dang beautiful they look in their pictures... my creativity is squashed. It just goes away. I end up stuck right at Steps 3 + 4. 

We cannot judge ourselves, or gauge our progress accurately when we sit and compare our worst traits to someone else's best traits. Yet that is what we have the habit of doing. Us as artists, especially.

We have to dare to be ourselves. Dare to be perfectly okay with where we are now, while continuing to strive to be better. We have to accept ourselves with our flaws and follies in order to really embrace and dive into our creative side. When we accept ourselves-- with our current skill, current knowledge, current situation, we can truly open doors to explore and create beautiful things. 

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When we learn revisit our successes, create selflessly, understand our creative nature, have patience in growth, remember our "why", seek support, separate ourselves from our art, and stop comparing... we will find ourselves moving to Steps 5 & 6. Moving toward true artistry, toward our creative potential. And away from feelings of self-doubt. Away from "I want to give up," and toward the terrifying, liberating beauty of self-belief.